Who’s Your Spirit Runner?

 “Running has no finish line” – Joe Schlereth

I saw this quote a few months ago, and it gave me pause. My first thought was, of course there is a finish line when you run, and it’s determined by the number of miles you set out to complete. For those who participate in organized runs, a “gun” is fired at the start and signifies it’s time to head towards the destination, usually indicated by a banner that reads, FINISH. I continued contemplating this cryptic message left for those of us who would find it. For me, the symbolism proved to be profound.

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To me, it represents a commitment to good health that can be experienced by incorporating running into one’s lifestyle. I have been sporadic in my running over the years, which is shameful for me to admit. In 2006, I was “pounding the pavement” consistently. That November, I had the following email exchange with Chris:

I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you. Hey, in spirit you ran a 5k with me today – the 12th annual Turkey Trot. It was freakin’ miserable!!!! Cold, windy, and sleeting/raining – ugh. There were so many people it took a while to even get to the start line when the gun went off!! So, I will have to find out what my time was later.

Lots of love to you,

Cindy

From Chris: 
AWESOME!! Yes, I did run with you and maybe at the same time…I have been running whenever I can, and I feel pretty good…I am climatized to a pretty high altitude, and my running should be great when I get back to sea level. I hope you [have] a wonderful Thanksgiving day!! Thanks for the letter, will call again soon.

Have a great day!
little bro, C.

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The absence of a “finish line” also represents my grief journey. The pain from Chris’ physical departure from my life is not as intense now as the years that followed, but I will miss my brother for the rest of my life. The tears continue to come at unexpected times, and I am never fully prepared for the depth of my sadness. In October of 2011, I shared the following with Chris’ daughter: 

Your dad gave me some coaching advice once… as I was running, Chris told me to start with my head, make sure it is balanced well on my shoulders, and then move on and focus on my breathing… keep it under control. Once that is solid, make sure my shoulders are square – not too stiff though. Repeat this process for the remainder of your body… torso, hips, knees, and finally feet. Take it slow, focusing on each part of your body making sure your alignment is steady. Once that specific part is fluid and under control, move on until you cover your entire body and repeat this process throughout your run. I guess this kind of applies to how we adjust to life without Chris’ physical presence in ours… one minute, one breath, one day at at time – remembering to focus on the happy times – the great memories! I hope this little bit ‘o reminiscing, via words of wisdom from your dad, comes in handy as you put one foot in front of the other!

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Finally, a run with no finish line mirrors the work of Wounded Warrior Project (WWP). They started in 2003 and exist to provide life-saving programs and services for our men and women who served in the United States Military on or after September 11, 2001. Wars may end, but the needs of those sent to fight a war may continue. Every Veteran’s story and individual needs will vary. No two people or experiences are the same. Staying the course and being committed to the ongoing work with those who served our country is a critical component of the WWP Vision which is to foster the most successful, well-adjusted generation of wounded service members in our nation’s history. 

I truly believe it was for this reason my brother left behind such an over-the-top request in the notes that accompanied his will. After almost 15 years of service, I saw my brother change. How could he not? War is not a video game; it involves real people with families and friends who have hopes and dreams! It can wreak havoc on a person, not just physically but emotionally. Knowing Chris, I imagine this was at the forefront of his mind as he was contemplating what “special instructions” to leave behind should he not come home. 

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Nels’ training is underway as he prepares to run across America to break the Guinness World Record, while sharing my brother’s last request – 100,000 people donate to Wounded Warrior Project. Both goals have a finish line. The heart of my brother’s message does not – compassion for and connection to others should have no end. Even though we were separated by thousands of miles in 2006, Chris ran with me in spirit. I trust he will be our Spirit Runner on this grand adventure to reach 100,000 donors.