A Million Dollar Smile

Milestones. You use them as markers to measure success and motivate you to move forward. Chris had many of them on his mission to become a United States Navy SEAL. In order to achieve each one, he had to have a plan which required self-discipline and dedication. I am grateful I had the privilege to witness a few of these moments. Joining the Navy was only the first step. Upon graduation from Basic Training, there was “A” School. This is different for each Sailor and contingent upon their career path in the Navy. As a civilian myself, I consider it similar to choosing a college major. To give you an idea, a few of the programs focus on specialties such as meteorology, communication, culinary, engineering and even music!

The reason for my sharing this is to let you know it’s a process of steps on the grand adventure to become a US Navy SEAL. It requires investing an incredible amount of time, effort and hard work. It’s an intensive commitment that pushed Chris to explore, embrace, and endure physical and mental challenges that few are able to complete. I’ll never forget the intensity of ‘Hell Week’, which is in the first phase of BUD/S. I had pictures of Chris at work, and of course, pictures at home, to ensure that every waking second I could send him as much good, strong energy as I could. Crazy? Possibly! When someone you love is doing a difficult thing, sometimes you invest time in unconventional tactics and hope that might give them a bit of an other-worldly edge. It was my big sister attempt to be supportive.

Chris made it through Hell Week! Although he started with Class 214, he got “rolled back” a class, due to his classroom performance. Was Chris disappointed? You bet! Quitting or “ringing the bell” was not even a consideration. He found a tutor, committed to studying and successfully completed what he set out to do. Yes, being intelligent is just as valued and necessary as mental and physical toughness. Twenty-four years ago today, on the twenty-seventh of February nineteen hundred and ninety-eight, my parents and I accepted with pleasure the invitation to attend Chris’ BUD/S Commencement Exercise for Class Two Hundred Fifteen. I took this picture right after his graduation (I know… the quality). He had a long road ahead of him, with many more milestones to maneuver to become a SEAL.

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After Chris was killed, I heard this statement, “tell me about your brother”, a few times. It was difficult for me to respond, in part, because I never gave consideration to our relationship. We are siblings. I am his sister; he is my brother. Like a chapter in a book, we share many stories. Yet, at the same time, they aren’t confined to one section; they span a lifetime. How could I possibly consolidate my thoughts on our story? Chris was an infant, a toddler, a boy, a teenager, a young adult, a man who became a US Navy SEAL and a Patriot. He was silly, serious, sentimental, thoughtful, spontaneous, adventurous, kind, and protective. I have compartmentalized my grief; I cannot do that to my brother’s life and his special role in mine. This is why I have chosen to share his correspondence to me, with you.

As I have reread Chris’ letters to me, they have brought smiles, laughter and tears to my face. The smiles because I had the wonderful blessing of truly getting to know Chris and watch him develop into a young man who became a staunch defender of freedom, the laughter because of his beautiful and descriptive way of writing, and the tears because there will be no more shared experiences and memories on which to reflect together. Even though it’s hard, I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my letters from Chris with you, because I think it’s important that you get to know the man behind the Trident. 

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CHRISTMAS DAY

DEC 25th 96

Hello again from “Antarctica II”. Hope you’re both warm and doing well. I’m doing okay I guess. I’m still coughing quite much at night, so I still am lacking sleep. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Mine up to this point started at 0330, up, dressed, then on to BLDG. 1405 to P.T. (Physical Train) with the S.E.A.L.S. – 0630 went to Breakfast, then presently now I’m writing from our Barracks (Ship), due to free time allowed until 1300 (1:00 pm), by our instructors. 

I had a beautiful view last night (Christmas Eve) before coming into the ship for lights out. Our Division was marching on the grinder next to the ship, and the moon, being FULL popped out from behind the clouds (it had been snowing: about 6 inches), and it was very beautiful & bright. Everything was glowing in the brightness, & I think if the smile I bore could be bottled and sold, I would be a millionaire!! That’s all I had for Christmas, but the state of contentment I felt that moment, I would trade nothing in the world for!! Even though I was with strangers, I felt at PEACE knowing that you and the rest of our family support and LOVE ME, and for that I thank YOU, and I repeat, I love you. 

Cindy, when you told me that you would write a little something for a shipmate that had received nothing from the mail, could you please send a note to: ( intentionally omitted). A little joy for him would make his day I’m sure!!

By the way I have been chosen to be A.R.O.C. (Associate Recruit Officer in Charge) of our Division!! (Second in charge to our Instructor) It’s a big responsibility, but it has already made me a better recruit because I have had to raise my standards of excellence, to lead by example the men, so they will respect me!! I also call “cadence” for our Division so I guess I inherited some musical talent from mom!! My voice has left me momentarily because of the yelling. 

Hope you had a good trip to J-ville & a good stay?! How well did you get along with the Parents for 5 days? Could you tell me how the U.N.C. Tarheel B-Ball team is doing! Well I’ll close now so I can go to lunch!

Take Care, Love Chris

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